Newcomers

Each meeting is chaired by one group member, usually a different member each week. The chairperson will choose a topic to guide the meeting, but if/when invited to share, you are free to say what’s on your mind and in your heart. Much help is gained by listening to others’ experience, strength and hope in applying “the tools” of the Al-Anon program.

Al-Anon has thousands of members from every walk of life. No matter what your relationship to the alcoholic, you will find someone else in a similar situation. Our members may have husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, grandparents, great grandparents or close friends who are alcoholics. We all share a common bond: that we have been affected by another person’s drinking, and we are using the Al-Anon program to recover from these effects.

Meetings are held at local schools, churches and hospitals. There are meetings 7 days a week, both day and night. Meetings offer a safe place where people can come and talk about dealing with the effects of alcoholism in a friend or loved one.

All meetings start at a specific time; most last about an hour and a half, with perhaps another half hour for refreshments and sharing of experiences in an informal way. Many members come early to greet newcomers and talk to friends, and stay after the meeting to socialize and answer questions. Newcomers are given a list of local meetings and a sample of Al-Anon literature (which has lots of useful information about dealing with alcoholism in a relative or friend).

Talking at a meeting is your choice. You do not have to speak, but many newcomers have found it helpful to finally share with others what was going on and how someone else’s drinking is affecting them. You are sharing in a safe place where your anonymity and privacy will be respected. You talk only when you feel ready to share. Sometimes newcomers like to talk privately with one or two Al-Anon members before or after a meeting. Whatever you feel comfortable with is OK by us.

In general, each week there is a different topic discussed at every meeting. The topics chosen help us to: understand the disease of alcoholism and how it affects the family, find solutions to better manage family relationships, get in touch with our feelings, detach from the alcoholic’s behaviour, set boundaries with others, learn about how to manage our anger and deal with our resentments. Such topics also help us to: raise our self-esteem, face our fears, and deal with our anxiety and depression.

As individuals around the room share on topics and their own situations, you may hear a little about yourself in their stories. While you may not identify with everything, but in general you will hear others talk about what you may be feeling. Listening to someone else has helped many of us learn about ourselves. Please attend six meetings so you can decide if Al-Anon is for you. It’s important to find somewhere you feel comfortable, so if one meeting does not feel right for you we suggest you try others, as each meeting has its own style and personality.

We place a high importance on anonymity at all our meetings because this makes our meetings a safe place to share. We only go by first names. No one needs to know that you are attending meetings, unless you choose to tell them. What is said in the group, what you hear in the group, whom you see in the group, stays in the group. This is one way we protect our anonymity.

No advanced notification or referral is necessary to attend any Al-Anon meeting in person or online. We do suggest that you arrive at least a few minutes before the start of the meeting and let someone know you are new. A welcome pack will be provided that has some useful information in it.